Monday, July 21, 2003

Old People Shouldn't Drive

SANTA MONICA, Calif. - An 86-year-old man whose car plowed through a crowded farmers market, killing nine and injuring up to 45 others, had recently damaged his own garage with his car, police said Thursday.

Police said Russell Weller told them he may have hit the gas pedal instead of the brake Wednesday, hurling victims into the air as his car careened down a street closed to traffic. Eight victims were pronounced dead at the scene and a ninth, a 50-year-old man, died later at a St. John's Hospital, spokeswoman Barbara Bishop said. Fourteen others were critically injured.

"Sixty miles per hour and it wasn't slowing down. It was flying. And then people down, dead and everything," said David Lang, manager of a shoe store along the market route. "I heard a car just hit, bang, bang, bang," said Mojgan Pour, 38. "I heard people screaming. By the time I looked, I never even saw the car. I tried to help a man and he died while I was helping him."

What's scarier than a teen just starting to learn how to drive? A senior citizen at 80 still driving.

But people argue that they have the same rights..blahblah..etc..You can thank the wonderful people over at the DMV for letting people renew their licenses through the mail so even when you're 40 you still have your picture from when you were 16. Even if grandma can't see correctly out the windshield, the DMV will pimp her for her monthly social security check and grant her a license renewal. How fucked up is that?

Have you seen an cadillac or a buick on the freeway going 15mph below the speed limit in the slow lane? Or honked at an older person twice because they wouldn't go at a red light? Or a car with one of the signal lights on flashing away but they're not even aware? Grandma or grandpa doesn't even realize her hazards are flashing away. However, every other human on the freeway does and avoids the slow lane like the plague.

WATCH OUT! HERE COMES GRANNY!

Imagine a 90-year old granny getting into her early model 80's Cadillac or Buick; taking 10 minutes to load her walker into the backseat and another three minutes just to adjust her plastic hip from a standing to a prone position. When the car starts, granny can back up and enter traffic in less than 10 seconds. No, no... she's not a pro racer, mind you. She just backs into oncoming traffic with no regard because she feels that the world revolves around her and that people might just notice the blue handicapped placard on her license plate and yield to her blind driving. Which usually happens because no one wants to pay higher insurance premiums because of grandma Harriet or whatever. Yet, the DMV will still allow them to continue driving around the general public? That's more hazardous to the public than allowing terrorists to release airborne-spread Ebola and SARS in a downtown metropolis city.

So the moral of this rant is: old people NEED to take an annual driving test and an eye exam, period. People with Alzheimer's need to be evaluated every six months. End of discussion. If they need assistance merely trying to walk, they should not drive. If their legs are so weak they can't suddenly slam a brake pedal or accelerate out of an accident, why should they be able to? If they can't see, they should not drive. And if they are hooked up to a breathing machine, they definitely should not f*cking drive. HOLY CRAP. WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY STOP BREATHING? God only knows....

Do all elderly people cause a hazard on the road? Of course not. There are people who drive well past 90 without any problems. However, if they have difficulty working the pedals or turning their head fully to check blind spots when changing lanes, miss traffic signs or stop lights, have drivers honking at them all the time, get lost or disoriented easily, confuse the brake and accelerator pedals of the car, are hearing impaired but don't use hearing aids, are on medications that cause sleepiness or dizziness, been pulled over by the police for driving too slowly, and/or have family members that express concern about their driving ability, then YES they need to get their butt off the road. I used to drive my grandfather everywhere even though he insisted that he was fine driving by myself....trust me he wasn't.

And everyone who's reading this can hold me accountable -- if I ever reach an age where I need diapers or where I can't even remember who the President is, then please, do the following: Find some of the best drugs you can find on the market (my children will reimburse you), and drug me up! I want to see pink elephants, an Asian/Black/Hispanic Senate, aliens, and God. In that order. Capisce? It would prevent me from endangering someone else's life because I was too old to act logical.