Charles Barkley Quotes

I don't think I'll ever quote another ex/athlete again, but I thought these were funny...

"Colonel Sanders is the greatest white man that ever lived."

On Magic Johnson's return to basketball: "We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."

To Kenny: "Oh man! I can't stand the X-Files! I don't believe in Extra-Terrestrials... until I saw your girlfriend one night. She needs to phone home."

During the Bruno's Memorial Classic Pro-Am: "Cat [Reddick, a female soccer player] was fantastic but when you lose to a woman, it means you suck at something. There are two times when you know you suck at sports -- when you can't beat the women and when you can't beat the smart kids." and later "Like a couple of years ago when I went to the Auburn-Georgia Tech game. We lost and I knew we were in trouble. We couldn't beat the smart guys."

TNT's Charles Barkley, after watching a clip of San Antonio's David Robinson getting hit in the groin area by the Lakers' Robert Horry: "It's always funny when it happens to someone else."

More clips here.

Dentist

I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. I had started flossing regularly and was looking forward to the inevitable moment of recognition: Wow, Tracy, great job flossing. I kept waiting, but it was as if he didn't notice. I brought it up as tactfully as possible - So, Dr. Mehta, can you tell I took your advice about flossing more? - but of course that wasn't nearly as rewarding.

He did, however, put in the effort to tell me I might need a crown on one of my sensitive molars.

definitely not being productive.

















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"Your sausage smells amazing! I want that big one right there! ... mmmm! I'm so glad I was blessed with a big mouth!"

Oh silly Rachel Ray, you've been working on the Food Network way too long, or maybe I need to stop watching so much tv.

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{Q} Why do seagulls live near the sea?

{A} If they lived near the bay, they'd be bagels

teehee

Coffee Break...

Where do they go?

Do u ever wonder where the ants go when it rains really hard? Do u think they bury themselves deep in the ground? Or are they being washed around in the rain rivers? Poor ants.

...and what about birds? Where do they hide? I never see any dead birds. Or dead squirrels.